Deep lows and laughing in their faces

So that everyone's caught up: I was given notice that I would receive TOEIC/TOEFL training about 2 weeks ago. Nova instructors usually sign these training forms without reading them because its just part of the job. Or so everyone assumes. I thought I would see what happens if I refused to do so. I dodged the Japanese staff for the rest of the day, threw the form away when I got home, and sent one of my superiors (that I'm cool with) an email asking him for advice. I talked to Cathryn a few days ago on the phone and aggressively (so I've been told) told her that I refused training.

Now, today:

I walked in to work expecting a pretty innocuous day. So, like I always do, I put my book, iPod, and bottle of water down and looked at the schedule. My third block for the day had the ominous looking 'G D H' written in it instead of the slightly less terrifying 'Kinder.' Maybe I'm a pessimist, but I could only come up with 'General Disciplinary Hearing.' One of the Japanese staff that we refer to as 'Bambi' told me that my boss, Cathryn, and the regional... very important... whoever were coming in to talk to me. I got a call shortly thereafter from Cathryn who said she was on the way to 'talk about the unresloved issues of our last phone call.'

I apologize to everyone for not being able to get my phone's voice recorder to work. I would love to have audio evidence of everything that happened in that freakishly long 40 minutes.

I was getting myself pumped up right before our meeting, and I decided, with no reservations, that I was prepared to lose my job, pack my bags, and either be on my way home or to Tokyo by the end of the day.

So, when you feel that you have nothing to lose, dealing with your company's shit management can be fun.

I walked in to the worst looking good-cop/bad-cop routine you'll ever see. Frightened and easily-bullied Cathryn was in the far corner and bad-cop was brooding (hunched over with his forearms resting on his thighs) on the opposite side of the room. I introduced myself and shook hands with both of them. I sat down and opened with a joke. I can't remember what it was but they both laughed nervously. I was completely in control.

Cathryn told me that we had a misunderstanding and they were there to make sure I was on the same page as everyone else, blah blah blah. TOEIC\TOEFL training is 'part of my job responsibilities' and no one's asking for my opinion on the issue. They are things I must do. I said something like: 'hahaha, ok, but question: why do you give me a form to sign at all?'

Cathryn: Its just our way of informing you of the change.

Benn: Fair enough. But why do I have to sign training forms and not have to sign the form that you sent me when you changed my schedule to teach Chibi kids.

Bad-cop: What does it MATTER how we INFORM you? The point is that Nova lets you know. Thats Nova's policy and...

Benn: Haha ha hahaha... ok, ok. We're getting sidetracked. At what point can I say 'no' to Nova?

Cathryn: Well, at no point.

Benn: Haha, ok, so what happens if I don't sign the form then.

Cathryn: Then what you're saying is that you're refusing to do your job duties. Is that what you're saying?

Benn: (Thinking out loud) Hmmm.... refusing to do my job duties... is that what I'm sayyyyyyiiiiiinnnngggg?... YES! Thats what I'm saying.

Cathryn: (Completely bewildered and unsure of what to do next) Well... (glances at bad-cop, hoping that he can come to the rescue).

Bad-cop: (Completely pissed off that I haven't stopped laughing or smiling since I sat down and his face has actually turned completely red) Do you think this is funny?

Benn: Haha, yeah, I find this all pretty funny.

Bad-cop: What do you find so funny... (raising his voice) can I ask you to sit up straight?

Benn: Me? (raising my voice higher) You sit up straight!

Bad-cop: I am sitting up straight.

Benn: No you're not, you're all hunched over like this (I mimick him but don't get the laughs that I would have if Bruce had been there).

Bad-cop: Well, I have to write on this pad.

Benn: Haha, oh, I see. Haha.

Bad-cop: Could you please STOP SMILING?

Benn: (When he said that I completely lost it and just started to really belly-laugh with the biggest smile you've ever seen on my face) Can I not smile in this room?

Bad-cop: (To Cathryn) I hope you're writing all of this down.

Benn: HAHAHA

Bad-cop: Cathryn, could I ask you to step out of the room?

(Cathryn actually gets up and obeys this request, leaving her dignity behind)

Bad-cop: (Completely calms himself down and starts to have a real conversation with me about what's been going on)

He was really losing his cool when I refused to treat him with any kind of respect but did a perfect 180 when Cathryn left. We sat there and talked for a long time while Cathryn waited in the hallway. When I told my roommate Dave about it he said that I should have yelled 'and get me a coffee while you're at it' to her. That would have been brilliant.

So we talked it over and he calmed down and I stopped laughing in his face and we came to some kind of an agreement. I'm not REFUSING training, but given that I have an unusual amount so quickly, they're putting it off into the distant future. However, since Handa needs someone who is TOEIC/TOEFL trained, they're moving me to Higashiura and bringing one of those guys to Handa in my place.

At the end of our conversation he felt it necessary to bring up my behavior again and tried to give me some 'good advice.' His advice was not to laugh during a meeting like this again. I laughed after he said it and give him a really mocking 'oooOOOOKay!' He wanted to sit down and get into it again with me but thought better of it and left. Before he got out the door I thought I would make some chit-chat with him (realizing perfectly well that he's Scottish): 'so, if you don't mind me asking, what part of Ireland are you from?' 'I'm from Scotland.' 'Ahhh.'

People seem to be pretty positive about Higashiura. The staff is less organized, the place is messier, but a lot of students who just want to fuck the teachers go there. So maybe this is the best thing for me.

To be safe, I just sent applications to the three other big English schools in Japan with Tokyo as my destination. If they respond quickly enough I can make the trip up there for this weekend or the next and maybe get myself hired before August.