Kids are too god-damned fragile

So I've made two kids cry so far. The first time it happened I was really really really uncomfortable. It was the first time I'd had to deal with that situation so I was unsure of what I was expected to do. Also, to see a 9-year old girl crying is not fun regardless of the situation. Lastly, the parents of every kid in the class happened to be present that day and were staring at me the whole time. That last reason contributed to no small degree to how awkwrd I felt. It was very funny in retrospect. The reason she started to cry in the first place was because she was losing at a game, so it was also kind of cute and I think the parents didn't judge me too harshly.

However, I apparently didn't learn anything from that because I caused another kid to cry today and it was during the same fucking game.

I had the whole class sit in a circle and arranged eight flash cards on the floor in front of them. They had pictures of pigs and ducks and stuff on them. I say the sentence that I'm trying to get them to learn and have them repeat it back to me. After that I say 'GO!' and they all race to slap the correct flash card. Well the girl that cried in my first class was dominating this time around, and she kept caging this one kid out of the game. She'd slide her knee in front of him and then they'd yell at each other in Japanese while I pretended I didn't see any of it. When he couldn't get any cards he totally started to cry. So, again, all the parents in the next room started to crowd the window to see what the noise was all about and I was in the middle of an elementary-school sized shitstorm.

Well, this time was much easier to deal with because he was obviously being a pussy. He's the kid thats going to get eaten alive in middle school and I think it's my responsibility to try and stop that from happening. Plus, if that girl who cried it all out of her system last time has taught me anything its that the class pussy of today can be the machine of tomorrow.

Not him though. That kid is meat. Good luck.

Eat it raw Kate

From the emails that Tracy Creek and Jeremy Berk sent me:

'I don't care what Kate says - I think you are still funny. She forwarded me the blog site and I've been catching up over the last couple of days. (Can I just say that your blog is so much better than this one written by an American girl in Paris that I've been reading lately - she's not funny at all and besides Paris is practically America.) Anyway I think you've gotten a bit more sarcastic lately - which I always find funny - so keep up the good work.'

'...And your posts are still funny to me'

Kate I'm not listening to you any more. You have no idea what you're talking about.

new roomie

my new roommate from tasmania showed up last night. the teachers got together downtown to throw him a welcoming party. at least, i think they got together since neither i nor my new roommate went to it. he's kind of a funny guy (i suppose we're both kind of funny). He did spend the previous 48 hours traveling without a break, but when you get thrown a party you usually make the effort to attend. i told him we would head downtown for 10pm and he very non-chalantly passed. i was quite impressed but then struggled to make excuses for the both of us to everyone already downtown. after all, if he wasn't going, then I didn't need to make the trip either.

there's a certain quality, in some people, that i admire and he's got it. when i was talking to him last night and there was a lull in the conversation, he didn't just blurt out things to fill the silence. I tend to do that. I wish I didn't but there's this anxiety i feel when no one is speaking. ive read that its an american quality but i dont agree with that. one of my british co-workers and the new zealander do it. they just ramble on about nothing and it makes them both seem very stupid to me. what could you possibly need to say out loud about kit-kats anyway? the ability to just keep quiet if you have nothing to say is useful i think. so this guy has already given me the impression that he's very self-assured, intelligent, and has a tendency towards really deep-thought. luke has that quality too. and all it takes is to know when to shut up. if you dont have a point to make, dont talk. its so simple. and it makes a lasting impression (maybe the rest of you don't agree).

so we watched team america: world police instead. it was as dumb as i thought it would be but funny regardless. i particularly liked the 'america: fuck yeah' song, the sex scene, and that trey parker and matt stone just came out and called every actor in hollywood a fag. i dont know what they have against matt damon in particular but i thought the movie was alright. the hours was better though.

ive started saying ridiculous things in english every now and then to japanese people. its probably wrong to take advantage of their lack of english but i know they're doing the same thing to me in japanese, so i dont feel too bad about it.

My job in a nutshell

The professor: So, what kind of music do you play in your band?
Hiroyuki: Jazz.
The professor: Ah, and anything else? Whose music do you play?
Hiroyuki: Gremerin.
The professor: Gremlin?
Hiroyuki: Grem errer.
The professor: Gram erron?
Hiroyuki: Gremerrin
The professor: Maybe I don't know it.
Hiroyuki: He's American.
The professor: and its jazz?
Hiroyuki: Yes, old jazz. Gremerrir.
The professor: (finally understanding) AAAAAHHHH!! GLEN MILLER!
Hiroyuki: yes, gremmerrer.

On a side note, this guy is awesome and I feel bad about posting our conversation on the internet. Hiroyuki isn't his name either, I changed it to feel less guilty about the breach of trust.

+1

So today my new roommate shows up. He's a smelly Australian but I don't plan on holding that against him. Cathryn (my boss whose stupid title I haven't learned since its all Nova-speak and not worth learning) is going to show up with him at 3pm and I don't plan on being there. Part of it is that I hate my boss and don't want to be forced to talk to her. Since I rely on Nova for everything, its become obvious that they think they have access to all aspects of my life. She's able to walk into my home (even if its for this good reason) and since we don't get along she'll probably use the opportunity to talk down to me in some small way and I don't think I could keep it under control if that happened. Also, I just don't want to be there for this guy when he shows up. I don't particularly want another roommate (but since Brian leaves in May its not the worst thing) and I definitely don't want to drag his ass all over town, showing him the sights, on my day off. This is Benn's time and Benn likes conversation held to a minimum during his time. Since my job consists of 20% teaching and 80% entertaining, entertaining on my day off is not going to fucking happen. Would you like to create spreadsheets all day on your Saturday? Fuck no my friend. Fuck no.

His timing is perfect. There are two lights in our bathroom and both of them stopped working a long time ago. I get ready in the semi-dark and I'm constantly surprised by the quality of my shave when I get to work. There isn't any hot water in our apartment and hasn't been for a week now. Neither of us have called the Nova department concerned with that kind of stuff either. We've just been dealing with it. I shower every other day now to avoid it, but I do get a certain kind of rush out of these freezing cold showers. I've been teaching myself how to appreciate them too. I soap up, wash my face, shampoo my hair, and then before turning on the water, psyche myself out. When I say its cold, please understand that means its cold. So I usually think of some really angry rap lyrics (DMX and Jedi Mind Tricks help me out) and then, rapping loudly, rinse off. It wakes me right the hell up and I never waste any water. It's good for the environment and I find it invigorating. So, after a 15 hour flight, that's what my roommate will have to look forward to.

Also, our apartment is filthy. It's so dirty that I ALMOST made an attempt to clean it up today, but hey, its my day off. And since I don't do favors for anyone here, he can do it himself if he wants to.

Is that funny?

Ode to Kate Martin

I think its important to have a friend who will be honest with you. A lot of people like to say things like 'if I had been there, I would have said it right to their face' or 'I'll tell you EXACTLY how I feel.' Most of the people who like to say these things are full of shit. People who actually do things like that don't need to call your attention to it.

Enter Kate Martin.

Everyone needs a friend like Kate because even if it potentially ruins your relationship with her, she'll let you know what she's thinking about. A couple of times she has said something that made me want to tie her up in a bag and drop her from a bridge, but I get over it and she always gives me something to think about.

So from her email to me:

'I can see how someone might say you look scheming, youve always looked devilish.'

and...

'So today I've spent the past 3 hours catching up on your life. To tell you the truth, it got really boring after the first month. But I still forwarded the blog onto Tracy. Ok, not that your life or trip seems boring, but your writing style changed and you seemed to loose your sense of humor. Here I am going on and on to my roommate about how funny you are, and you blew it. Redeem yourself; Im not interested in how much yen you are making.'

Ok, so I reread my first posts and I don't really find them funny. I don't know what specifically she was referring to when she said they were funny, but what I wrote in the past two weeks (after that stuff about my income) was good in my opinion. I mean, everything I write looks like crap to me 10 minutes later, but it's not the worst stuff I could have written.

But I'll try to be a little funnier, and if my posts improve then everyone can thank Kate for being brash.

Books and Daniela's shout out

I picked up some more books today. Uyeda Akinari's 'Tales of Moonlight and Rain,' Takeo Doi's 'The anatomy of dependence,' and Sokyo Ono's 'Shinto: The Kami Way.' I'm always down to start emailing about books. Does Jordan read this blog?

D, I don't know why but eating Taco Bell off the 5 will always be one of my favorite memories. And do you still have that scar from Sophomore year?

Raise the bar

I hit my personal best this past Friday with 24 unique visitors.

Chea.

Shakespearian cold showers

I know exactly when and where I was when I caught this cold. I was greeting a group of Senior-level kids at the door (at Nova when you get a group of kids you're supposed to kneel down to their level and introduce yourself, and get them to say their names). This one little fuck named Rei had his surgical mask pulled down and proceeded to cough his germ-infested ass off in my face. He then created a thick atmosphere of disease in the poorly ventillated kids' room in which I was trapped. So I woke up feeling like crap. But I compensated for it by calling in sick and coming downtown to use the internet and read. I actually just feel guilty about calling in sick because I feel fine at this point. I also had Voice today (where you just sit and chat with a big group of students who are usually upper-level on Sundays) which are easy lessons.

Brian and I are unsure if the water heater in our building crapped out or someone turned off our hot water, but we've been reduced to taking cold showers. Before this morning I hadn't showered for about 48 hours because of it. The water here is fucking cold. Swimming in Maine cold. At least Kelly Reed, Jarod, and Luke must know what I'm talking about when I say Maine waters are cold. But I'm sure you can imagine. So since I shaved my head again last night I was forced to take a shower before leaving the house today. I turned it on and let it run in the tub and then stepped in. My feet instantly lost all feeling and turned blotchy red before settling on deep purple. It was almost unbearable. So since I'm reading Macbeth right now, I used that for some inspiration. I was trying to put things in perspective and if he could make himself kill his own king and forsake his soul then I could take a measley cold shower. So I was successful and proud of my accomplishment but my balls have yet to return to their orignial shape.

Lou asked a good question in the comments section of my last post. If you don't want to make the trip way down there to click on it, then here's the gist of it: since religious devotion tends to be inversely proportional to technological and economic growth, how does Japan measure up? Something like that. Well, I'd say religion here is just like it is in America. People go to temple and pray but most do it out of a sense of duty and not because they have any real sense of faith or whatever. That was the impression I gathered from a group of students in Voice when we talked about Shintoism and samurai spirit (forbidden topics but Nova is too cautious I think). I told them that eastern religions are increasingly popular in America because a lot of people are unhappy, despite their high standard of living, and feel like western religions (or whatever) have failed to produce happiness in a tangible way. They said people in Japan go to temple or pray only when they really need something and very few people are religious like they were in the past. The only two people who admitted to feeling religious said it happened after they had kids. So my impression is that the people here resemble those in developed western countries and probably go to temple to maintain their cultural roots, out of a sense of duty, or to ask for help when they have nothing else. I don't know if anyone actually believes in Shinto creationism, but I imagine the Buddhist elements in Japan are more important to those who do feel religious. Does that answer your question at all Lou?

I'm not qualified to even give an opinion though, since I'm so isolated from the rest of Japanese society thanks to the language barrier any my beautiful blue eyes. Which reminds me: I got my first compliment about my eyes. The mother of one of my younger students was checking me out and when I made eye contact she told one of the Japanese staff that my eyes were gorgeous. Hells yeah, J-MILF.

My diverse fan base

Not only do I get along well with most of the Japanese people I meet, but the number of foreign nationals that check this blog is increasing. Hello to Canada, Japan, the United States, Singapore, Germany, and Cambodia.

You can keep pretending like I don't exist Papua New Guinea, but you're only hurting yourself.

Lessons of the past

I noticed this advertisement on my walk to Iseshi station. I have no idea what its for, but does anyone notice anything about this particular bunny? Maybe a certain yellow star pinned to his chest? Haven't we learned where this kind of thing leads us?

I've picked up copies of 'Macbeth,' Soseki Natsume's 'I Am a Cat,' and Ovid's 'Metamorphoses.' If anyone wants to chat about them, feel free to email me. None of my co-workers read books and most of my Japanese students lack the English skills necessary to talk about this kind of thing.

How much are cigarettes in the States?

Ise details

I've already posted a short introduction to Ise that I stole from a pamphlet yesterday. The main attraction of the Jingu shrine is the mirror of the Japanese sun god. Which is fine, and I was excited to pick it up and play catch with it and everything, but you can't even SEE it when you get there. The bigger of the two main shrines houses it, but tourists are only allowed inside of the first wall. Three more walls prevent anyone from seeing it (or even the shrine that its housed in) and you just pray to it from the gate of the second wall (I'm standing outside of the first wall but the second gate is visible in the photo). This is accomplished by deeply bowing twice, clapping your hands twice, and then bowing a third and final time. You're invited to toss some money onto a white sheet at the entrance of the second gate. I didn't kick up any money and I sure as hell didn't pray to some mirror. A spiritual being who can't get out from inside of a mirror is a pussy. There, I said it. And if the spirit isn't inside the mirror, then its just a stupid mirror and I'd rather pray to my Birkenstocks because at least they are reliable and keep my feet comfy. Mirrors remind me I'm getting older and point out my physical flaws when assisted by fluorescent lighting. Fuck mirrors.

Quasi-jokes aside, it was a nice trip. The area surrounding the shrines was beautiful and the architecture of the shrines was interesting. There was a pond inside of the smaller shrine with some gigantic coy inside. The pond was shallow enough to allow a determind person to pet the coy, so I proceeded to do so. Someone shot me a sidelong glance when they saw me reaching for the fish but it was worth it. I don't know if I've ever touched a live fish before. I was pleased with the experience and none of the fish seemed to mind, so it was a victimless crime.

As I've mentioned earlier, this internet cafe at Sakae plays a lot of American pop and I'm listening for the first time to the new Black Eyed Peas song. The one where they bleep out every other word and it sounds something like 'I can tell you're looking at my BLEEP, but I want you to keep playing with my BLEEP.' I'd like to add this song to my list of grievances against the Black Eyed Peas. That is all.

Things that don't affect you

So I got an approval by the IRS for my tax extension. I think a little celebration is in order. Maybe I'll have eel tonight. Or maybe I'll have some ikazaki bean paste smeared on top of something.

So a friend of mine gave me their DVD player because it won't play DVRs and they're upgrading. The video rental place next to me is great it turns out. You can rent a movie for a full week for 100 yen (USD is currently trading at 117.68 JPY) and they have this awesome anime selection. Unfortunately, most of the anime doesn't come with English subtitles so I need to study a little harder before I can watch them.

Finished Murakami Haruki's 'Wind-Up Bird Chronicle' and 'Kafka on the Shore.' I'm halfway through a book on Japanese history, and I'm going to pick up some Soseki Natsume soon (Edo era author). I also want to get books on the philosophy of Zen Buddhism, so if anyone wants to chat about books or has any advice to give me, feel free.

From an English language pamphlet about Ise:

"Since ancient times, the Japanese people have lived in accordance with nature. All over Japan, there are consecrated rocks and evergreen trees in which kami (powerful beings) reside, as well as sanctuaries (generally called jinja) in which kami are enshrined and which usually consist of a building surrounded by a grove of trees. According to Shinto (literally, 'the way of kami'), the indigenous religion of Japan, kami are worshipped in matsuri which include solemn ceremonial occassions as well as festivals at the local level. There are more than 100,000 Shinto sanctuaries in Japan, which are at the center of spiritual life. Historically, Jingu has held the most honored place among all Shinto sanctuaries. It is considered to be the spiritual home of the Japanese people, most of whom wish to make a pilgrimage to Jingu at least once during their lifetime. In fact, more than six million pilgrims and worshippers come to Jingu every year."

(Jingu is the proper name of the two shrines at Ise that I visted today)

Ise

Today I went to the city of Ise in Mie prefecture. I took over a hundred pictures but won't get a chance to upload them until I get back to Kyowa. It was a pretty cool place and, as Shintoism is basically nature-worship, very green. I'll post more details along with all of my photos later on tonight or tomorrow.

I also have a few shots from Meijo park behind Nagoya Castle.

I need to do something

I need to get out of the area (I keep saying that) so I finally have something new to talk about. I was going to travel to Ise today but tax concerns prevented me from leaving. I have the phone numbers of the Massachusetts tax authority and the IRS, so I can call them today to ask for extensions. I suppose that's all I can do until IBT gets its fucking act together and sends Daniela my W2.

I took out enough cash from the bank to buy a Super FamCom, so expect boring posts about that soon.

Shit man. I wanted to write about something but I'm nonplussed. I know if one of you were sitting here you'd notice something weird and ask about it, but most things here have become commonplace. For example, getting served a raw egg with most meals seems normal. So does seeing girls dressed up as fairies and princesses on the subway. Japanese body language is beginning to make sense and I can guess the meaning of some sentences now from the expressions that are used in the delivery (for example raised eyebrows and a slightly scared look means 'please stop smelling my hair').

It's starting to get a little warm here. Wearing a t-shirt and a shortsleeve polo shirt caused me to sweat on the train today. It may be completely different tomorrow (in that way at least it resembles Boston) but right now its nice.

Apparently Chinese sand (The Gobi?) gets blown onto Japan at this time of the year. Someone the other day complained at work about getting dusty or something (?) and explained it away as China's fault. It didn't make a lot of sense to me, but I remember how the skies over Massachusetts looked when Quebec had all of those forest fires a few years ago.

Ben means shit

So this is going to be a short post since I have tons of tax-related stuff to do. But I was told over a month ago that 'ben' in Japanese means 'shit.' I cant remember if I wrote about this already but I have new information. So I guess 'daiben' is 'big shit' as well, which is cool I suppose. I could be 'big shit' but maybe not 'shit.'

The other day while I was waiting for a hella-delayed train I met a New Zealander, Rachel, who told me that 'benpi' is what the Japanese use for 'constipation,' but that actual term means 'mystery poop.' How awesome is that? The word they use for constipation literally means 'mystery poop.'

Nalini, Canadian-style pizza, and Hanami

I finally called Nalini the other day. I emailed her after I arrived in Japan but we hadn't spoken to each until this Wednesday. She has family visiting right now but after that I'm gonna go to Kobe and visit her. I think we made tentative plans for the end of this month and now I'm excited to see the city. She said its a cool city (which Nagoya isn't) so I'm finally going to see some more of Japan. That'll mean more pictures too, which I'm sure you will enjoy. Because who wouldn't want to look at this mug? No one. That's who.

I saw an ad the other day in the April Japanzine (a free English language magazine that sucks) for Canadian-style Pizza in Osaka. What the fuck is Canadian-style pizza? While the pizza in the ad looks delicious, I'm willing to bet it sucks. Arrogant Canadians. What do they know about pizza?

The ancient Japanese art of Hanami is something that I'm going to be privy to tonight. That's where large groups of people gather in the public areas where Cherry Blossoms are in bloom and get smashed to shit on sake and eat finger foods. It's not as glamorous as it sounds since I'll be forced to talk to my co-workers. I have my camera on me, so pictures will be forthcoming.

So I haven't filled out my taxes yet. Someone call the government and tell them I'm going to need some more time. They'll know what its all about. Thanks.

This blog by the numbers

So while Kevin must be pleased with the enormous size of his digital cock (this site has received 588 page loads while his has 6758), I am happy nonetheless with the traffic this site has received. I just took a look at the numbers, and on my busiest day there were 18 unique visitors. 70.59% of my traffic comes from the US, 28.24% comes from Japan (I wonder how much of that is me), and 1.18% is from Argentina.

Of the people that look at this site, over 60% visit for longer than an hour and everyone else spends 5 minutes or less.

There are some other numbers that I could share but they don't mean anything to me.

---

From 'We Be Burnin' (Legalize It)' by Sean Paul:

'Summertime bounce to the music people choose it
Sean da P gal a cruise wit... well reputed cause.
We a the girls them champion,
Have nuff a them like the great king Solomon...'

Exactly my friend, exactly.

2 months in

So a few days ago was the first time I seriously considered staying here longer than a year. I'm just thinking out loud right now and I never plan anything that far in the future. I've gotten over almost all of my initial concerns and complaints and I'm really just enjoying being here right now. My lifestyle (the absence of my friends and family aside) is much better here than it was in Boston and there's so much for me to do and see here that I don't think I can get it all accomplished in a year. Also, coming back too soon might not really solve the problem that I was having in the first place. I want to see the world and have fun and not commit to a job that is going to devour my best years just yet. If I come back prematurely than I'll be in the same antsy position that left me unhappy in Boston. So, just as a preliminary warning, I've been thinking about it guys...

I think having good and bad days is just something that you can't get away from. I would say that I have all of the tools necessary to teach great lessons at this point, but I still manage to fuck them up every now and then. The other day I had a few terrible ones back-to-back. It's the worst feeling to be teaching and know its not going well but then being unable to fix it. Some classes are just destined to suck I guess.

Ahhhhhhhhh... I guess that's about it. I know there was tons of shit.... oh yeah! My Zen class!

I went way the fuck out of my way on Tuesday to Aichi Gakuin Univerity for a class on Zazen. I had a brochure that said classes were taught on the first Tuesday of every month and when I checked out the website it was in English and Japanese so I just hoped for the best on my way out there. I should have called. I really really really should have called first. First of all, the class this month isn't being taught on the 4th, technically the first Tuesday, but the 11th. Second, the class is entirely in Japanese. Third, it looks a little bit scary. A woman that I was barely able to communicate with gave me a how-to guide in English and what happens in their meditation sessions at the temple. The Zen master (or whatever) moniters everyone and hits you on the shoulder with a cane if your mind wanders. I guess he uses Zen magic to know when this is, but the thought of getting hit from behind by a cane to clear my mind and then performing a ritual to find my path again seems a tad frightening.

The campus police were unbelievable though. I got to the university's campus (my first Japanese university by the way) and tried to ask some questions at the information center. No one spoke English so a security officer drove me to the international center on campus where an English-speaking woman was located. She was able to understand what I was asking for and then told the security officer in Japanese. He then drove me to the temple and showed me to the front office. Thank god for that guy. None of it mattered because I had the wrong day, but that guy was awesome.

The cherry blossoms here are in full bloom and they're very pretty. If you want to see them do a google search. I'm already bored of looking at them.

Details

I was restless last night after 11pm so I went for a walk around Kyowa. There's a store adjacent to my apartment building that sells DVDs and shit but I had never been inside before. It would probably be the only thing opened at that hour, so I checked it out. This place kicks ass. It has used clothing from the US (most T-shirts are 1000yen but the shirts are awesome. I found a shirt with an outline of Vietnam and in bold English letters it says 'Next time, let us win.'), video games and systems for sale, and tons of Japanese toys, manga, and anime. I can buy a Nintendo Famcom for about 20 bucks and they sell most cartridges for between 3 and 10 dollars. The Famcom looks like the Japanese equivalent of a Super Nintendo, and as I didn't see any Super Nintendos, I think it was its counterpart in Japan. Of course all of the games are in Japanese but I think I'm gonna buy one. They had second-hand Playstation 2's for about $120 and tons of games. Buying a Japanese DVD player is something I might do in the near future too because I want to take a look at all of this anime. I wouldn't know where to begin or what titles are considered the 'classics' or whatever, but there's just so much of it that I want to be a part of that subculture. And it all looks filthy, so I'm down with that too.

I bought some Ghana chocolate (nothing says delicious like Ghana) at a Coco's (equivalent of a 7-11) while I was wandering around. I usually take my time in my little peregrinations and scare Japanese people that I meet walking. A woman last night was putting her trash out when I walked by her and she actually ran away when I got close. You gotta be careful with these people. They frighten easily.

This morning on my walk here I wandered through the Osu Kannon mall. It's all outdoors and fun to walk through but it only hit my today how much it sucks. I found a discount electronics store that was selling Famcoms for 67 bucks. Hello!? I can buy it next door to where I live for 20. I'm not buying shit there anymore. I found an Americana store there though with a bad-ass sign out front. It had the name of the store in English with a bomb (painted in the stars and stripes) crashing through it. You know, in case they forget who leveled the place 60 years ago.

My co-workers suck. I think I mentioned earlier that they're boring and a bunch of idiots but now they're offensive as well. So I work with Mark, Paul, Sunshine, Andrea, and Marielle. Some people from the Higashiura branch used to come out and do shifts but that was before we got Andrea. Now its just the six of us. Paul rocks. I love that guy. Sunshine too. I don't know about Andrea yet as she just arrived but I think we'll get along fine. Mark is the idiot that likes to brag about his thriftiness. Up until recently I got along with the New Zealander lesbian Marielle, but I'm done with her now too. Mark and Marielle hate America and Americans for no real reason other than that they're jealous and idiots. They probably think they're being really clever in how they're disguising it too, like how someone who wants to become invisible puts their hands over their face. The American Pat used to do shifts at Handa and he used to fuck with her a lot. They were quasi-friends even if he, on at least one occassion, held her in a corner and farted on her. She also has to deal with Mark, who sucks, so I think she just bottles up all of this rage inside. Her and I got along but since I've been really amiable and innocuous, she's started to take advantage of me. She made fun of my accent the other day in what was uncharacteristically rude. We all fuck with each other so no big deal but it was in the way she did it that pissed me off. The other English-speakers have explained to me that what most distinguishes our accents from theirs is our long vowels and the rolling of our R's. So when I said 'our' (which sounds like 'are' when they say it) she mimicked me in this voice that really pissed me off. She was probably just getting some of her pent-up frustrations out and I've made myself an easy target because I'm so nice and usually self-deprecating in my story-telling. She said she wasn't being insulting she just liked the way I said the word. Then why the mocking voice? She gave me permission to make fun of her accent in retaliation. I'll pass on that but if she hates Americans so much I'm gonna be the biggest patriot you've ever seen. I almost bought an American flag belt-buckle today. I mean, I'm not really doing anything unreasonable since, as everyone knows, America rocks and New Zealand is where we would build our vacation homes if it wasn't so fucking far away. If it wasn't for Australia being so close I think we all might forget there was an English-speaking nation there. She's told me once before that when people visit New Zealand they're always taking a day trip or something while spending a week or two in Australia. I mean, that makes perfect sense and is probably the way I'd do it too. But she got all bent out of shape about it like, why is Australia so great? Come to New Zealand to see New Zealand! So she's obviously got inferiority issues which is exactly how I'm going to get to her. I'll teach her to make fun of how I speak.

In addition to that, English is becoming Americanish. American English is becoming the standard English and her slang and accent are becoming an anachronism. In almost all of Nova's lessons they use the American version of whatever we're talking about ('pants' and not 'slacks', 'candy' and not 'sweets' or 'lollies,' etc;). I know an Australian here who has started to pronounce Zebra the American way and not her own native way. So I guess I can understand other native-speakers' frustrations, but she should have been smarter than to pick a fight with someone with such a mean streak.

My temple

So I wrote about visiting a temple in my last post and I took some photos with my cellphone today. I took a shot of the main building, the front gate, and the Buddha inside. I'm playing with the idea of going to Ise tomorrow. Its in the next prefecture over, Mie, and is the holiest Shinto site in the country. It's the shrine where all of the spirits of the emperors go to after death. I'm sure there's a reason why they go there, but that's all I know for now. Maybe I'll bump into Hirohito (known as Showa after his death) and I can ask him where his head was at. Honestly. It's just a tiny group of islands with no natural resources to speak of and they thought they were gonna win against all of the nations of southeast Asia, China, Korea, the Soviet Union, and all the English-speaking nations of the world worth fucking with? That was dumb. That was really fucking dumb.

Zen and my dark-ass room

This is going to be old information for my dad, Daniela, and Starr but here's what I've been up:

I've been reading Murakami Haruki's book 'The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle'. I think I originally heard about him from Luke's friend Ben. The main character, in an effort to create an enviornment in which to think, climbs down an empty well and stays there for two days. He is able to transcend time and focus his energies on his own mind. So I went home yesterday and was thinking about it and decided I would try out something similar. As there are no windows in my room, at night if I turn off all the lights in the apartment and close my door, it is possible to make it pitch black. You can't see anything-even your own hands one inch in front of your face. So I sat like that for over an hour and just thought. I didn't make noise or speak or move around too much. I tried to just sit there and think. As all I have in my room is a little pillow it was pretty fucking uncomfortable after a little while but I think I liked it. The trick is to spend a lot more time like that and not bail after just an hour.

It was something that I had been thinking about ever since I had a conversation with a student of mine. He reads a lot and likes Zen Buddhism and was explaining to me some of the things that he's learned so far. So part of Buddhism, and if you're interested I would highly recommend reading Hermann Hesse's 'Siddhartha,' is to destroy the self and find the all-being through meditation among other things. Once you realize that all life is the same thing and its all moving in the same direction to the same destination and that there is no time, you can achieve enlightenment and inner peace. Don't quote me but that's kind of what I've taken from it so far. So this student told me how Zen Buddhism is the basis for Bushido, the Japanese warrior code. By having very austere homes with little decoration (among other deeper things) they were trying to kill the self and focus on just being. Without the self to distract them, they were able to just fight and not think about anything else. So I realize that my room is cluttered with a bunch of crap I don't need and I was about to throw a lot of it away before it occurred to me that I could accompish the same goal by removing all the light from it. So I'm gonna get some books on Buddhism and Zen and read a little bit more seriously and see if I feel any better as a result of it.

I went to my first Buddhist temple today. It was a really pretty one on my walk downtown and massive on the inside. I climbed the steps and removed my shoes before entering through a sliding paper door. The main room was massive and covered with tatami mats. I sat cross-legged in the back and waited for two people praying to leave before approaching the altar. There were little altars that you could kneel before with incense burning. A girl slightly younger than me came in and kneeled next to me so I watched her pray a little bit. She sprinkled some incense on the smoldering fire in front of her and then closed her hands, palm to palm like Christians pray, bowed her head very low, and closed her eyes. In front of the little altars was a massive one, very ornate, with a Buddha statue. At least I think it was a Buddha statue-it didn't look like the Buddha statue that I've seen elsewhere but looked maybe more like a Buddhist-Jesus. I only think it was a Buddhist temple because most Shinto temples have Torii gates outside and there weren't any at this place. I think I'll go back and actually pray for something- peace for myself, that kind of thing. It was nice a temple though and I liked the smell of incense burning. I didn't want to pray without knowing how because in my mind it would spoil the sanctity of the place. I think walking into a Catholic Church and not blessing yourself, not kneeling at the pew, and then on top of that praying wrong would spoil the whole experience. You would find out later that you probably looked like an idiot and just feel bad about the whole experience. Plus if someone else walked in and I was doing something wrong maybe they'd get pissed and I don't want to fuck with someone else's religion.

Toyohashi Follow-Up Training and fast trains

I'm at the Yahoo Broadband cafe in Sakae again. It's 7:18pm. I came here directly from follow-up training in Toyohashi at the other end of Aichi prefecture. I've been told that its a city of about a million people, but I dont believe it. I have a Kondasha Japanese-English dictionary and listed in the appendix are Japanese place names with their kanji. Toyohashi, Hamematsu, and Shizuoka are not in there and they're all supposed to be really big cities. Plus, I know my geography and I feel like I would have heard of these cities if they're really that big. But for western Aichi, they're enormous. I went out to JMax on Saturday night, a club near Fushimi station in Nagoya, with my buddy Pat, Paul, and Paul's roommate. Paul is the British guy that I know from training that lives in the sticks in Aichi. Apparently from Paul and his roommate's place you can see Mt. Fuji but its still an hour train ride away or more. So we went to JMax right before the doors closed at midnight. It stays open until 3:30am and it was a ton of fun. It was some kind of bikini-themed night and quite busy. It was 3000 yen to get in and you got four drinks complimentary. We blew threw the 'free drinks' and did a lap around the place. The dance floor itself wasn't that big but there was a lot of sitting room on two floors surrounding it. Two bars on the northern and western sides of the dance floor and plenty of girls hired by the club dancing on platforms. Pat and I went to the dancefloor to get it started but just when we arrived the music changed from loud Japanese pop/techno to hip-hop and it cleared out. Apparently hip-hop is just not tolerated in Japanese clubs. It was busy again once some techno/pop came back on and we stayed there until it closed.

After the lights came on and people started to filter into the street we met some interesting characters. Two Japanese girls in latex maid outfits chatted with me and Paul on their way through the lobby. I had been under the impression they were working for the club but was wrong. They were just down with latex maid outfits. Outside we met some Japanese guys who wanted to talk and we were loud and drunk and apparently attract those kinds of people. Some guy kept talking about how big our dicks were and how small his was. He even bag-tagged me when I wasn't looking and told the girls around us how hung I am. I don't understand why anyone would do that, but it happened. He wasn't the only one either, another group of guys told some girls walking past us how big our dicks are. No one seemed sarcastic or malicious in the way they talked about it either, like they genuinely just wanted to build us up or something to every girl in listening range. I'm not complaining.

I had to work early on Sunday so after the club we took a cab to freebell to crash at Pat's place. I got four hours of sleep and made it back home in time to catch my train. My ears were ringing worse than ever before though and it was affecting my work. I couldn't hear my students, who tend to speak quietly, and kept asking them to repeat themselves. One guy, when I asked him how he was, said hung over. I said 'me too' and I high-fived.