Fun with a Bible

I think it was in Running with Scissors that the characters ask God everyday questions, open the Bible to a random passage, and interpret the passage for their response. I thought it was brilliant. And it looked like fun. When D and I were in Oregon two months ago, I found a Bible in the house we were renting, so I dusted it off and used it for that purpose. This morning I thought I'd do the same thing to figure out what I should do today. The results:

What should I do today?

Sirach 31, 14: "Better a poor man strong and robust, than a rich man with a wasted frame."

What should I eat for breakfast?

Psalm 24, 1: "The earth is the Lord's and all it holds, the world and those who live there."

Should I go shopping downtown or take a walk to the library?

Luke 21, The Coming of the Son of Man: "There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars, and on earth nations will be in dismay, perplexed by the roaring of the sea and the waves."

Thus spake the Lord. I'm going to use our Elliptical Trainer and do some push-ups, I can eat anything (or anyone) for breakfast as long as I say Grace, and I'll keep my eyes peeled for a sign about the library thing. Last night I threw another sock away because it was full of holes. Maybe that was my sign.

CNBC Sucks at Geography

I caught CNBC's special The New Age of Wal-Mart on Saturday. I think I hate Wal-Mart, but I don't see why a town should resist getting one if it used to have an Ames or a K-Mart.

What most annoyed me is that CNBC's graphics department doesn't know shit about geography. During the show, CNBC showed the following map of Japan when it talked about Wal-Mart's global presence. Maybe it's esoteric, but does anyone else notice something wrong with this map?


The northern most island that's colored yellow isn't Japan. That's Russia.

CNBC: let's clean it up. I'm available as a consultant.

Taxes

I'm trying to figure out my effective tax rate and I'm stuck. On my pay stubs, I can see deductions for Social Security, Federal Taxes, State Taxes, and Medicare. I've been adding all of those together to figure out how much I'm paying to the government, but I shouldn't really include Social Security, right? I mean, if I'm going to eventually get that money back, then it's not a tax exactly, right? Is my actual tax rate Federal Income + State Income + Medicare?

Disqus Addition

The comments on this blog are now powered by Disqus. I discovered this tool about 10 minutes ago on my friend Kevin's site. In addition to letting you post comments, it's an aggregator. If you create a profile on Disqus, you can keep track of all posts you've left on various websites. You can see when people respond to things you've posted and track what your friends have been saying all over the web.

I think it's an improvement. It's also very easy to use. Post a comment and let me know what you think.

Farm Share 13

We got tomatillos again this week in our farm share. D has already made a salad dressing and enchiladas with them, so I think we're out of ideas. We'll troll allrecipes.com and come up with something, but I'm done with these things. Actually, I'm not even sure what they taste like. I've only had them in meals D has prepared. Does anyone else think they look pumpkins for leprechauns?

We received a ton of stuff this week. My arm was tired after carrying it all home. Full disclosure: I don't work out anymore and have weak little girl arms.

Pears -- 1 lb., 1.95 oz.
Baby Bok Choy -- 15.75 oz.
Collard Green -- 12.25 oz.
Arugula -- 9.85 oz.
Carrots -- 1 lb., 8.45 oz.
Green Cabbage -- 2 lbs., 14.05 oz.
Delicata Squash -- 11.65 oz.
Tomatoes -- 1 lb., 2.55 oz.
Onions -- 1 lb., 4.45 oz.
Tomatillos -- 7.2 oz.
Potatoes -- 1 lb., 14.95 oz.

The pears came from Bashista Orchard in Southampton, MA, but everything else came from farms in Whatley, MA. As it gets later in the season, we should see more coming from Florida and the Carolinas. D and I are considering renewing our farm share through the winter. It'll be $700 for the same deal we get now, 10 pounds a week for 6 months. That's $200 more than we paid for our June-November share, but if more is being shipped up the East Coast, then it makes sense. If we abandoned our farm, we would need to buy WAY more produce at the grocery store.

Tonight D is at her Portuguese class, so I'll fry up the bok choy and make some rice. We don't have any meat thawed out, so I hope we have gyoza left. I think even if we paid $200 more for a season, it would be cheaper than shopping at Costco and the grocery store. At least, for what we're consuming. I doubt tater tots are more expensive than arugula and Japanese eggplant.

He Even High Fived Me!

This is the online chat I had with a Bank of America rep:

Adrian: Hello! Thank you for being a valued Bank of America customer! My name is Adrian. How may I assist you with your personal checking and savings accounts today?
You: ahoy
You: i have a quick question
Adrian: Hello! How are you doing today?
You: i'm fantastic,
You: and i'll tell you why
Adrian: Sure! Please go ahead. I will try my best to help you out.
You: the stock market, for the second day in a row, is tanking
You: and i need to fund my fidelity brokerage account STAT
You: so, i just initiated a transfer of funds
You: through my brokerage account
You: from my checking account here at B of A
You: I just want to make sure the transfer won't be rejected on your end
You: como vai?
You: are you soaking up what I'm spilling?
Adrian: I will surely be glad to inquire the transfer for you.
Adrian: May I have your full name please?
You: XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXX
Adrian: Thank you, XXXXXXXX.
Adrian: May I please have the last four digits of the account number in question?
You: XXXX
Adrian: Thank you, XXXXXXXX.
Adrian: Please allow me a moment while I check the details on your account.
You: Take-a you-a time
Adrian: Thank you for waiting. I'll be with you in just a moment.
You: ok
Adrian: XXXXXXXX, I see the available balance of the account ending in -XXXX is $XX,XXX.XX.
You: right-o
You: the question was,
You: is bank of america going to reject a transfer
You: initiated at Fidelity
You: I assume you guys will see one half of a wire from Fidelity
You: requesting XXXX.XX bucks from my account
You: will you connect points A and B
You: or will you reject it
You: because it's an outside request for funds
Adrian: Please be informed, that you can only transfer funds to Investment account if the account is present under the same Online ID .
You: ?
You: what does that mean?
You: like, my government name?
You: not, say, my rapping name
You: no, i think both accounts
You: are under the same name
You: or are you talking about some other ID?
Adrian: I see both the accounts are not under same Online ID.
You: what is the online ID?
You: my account number?
You: my sign-in name?
You: my actual name?
Adrian: Exactly!!!
Adrian: Online ID is your sign in name.
You: but wait,
You: you mean a wire is going to come over to you
You: saying
You: spongeruiner101 requests funds?
You: and you'll look at that and say
You: oh, we only have a mrcoffee99 (or whatever)
You: that doesn't sound right...
Adrian: Did you initiated a wire transfer?
You: yeah
You: from Fidelity
Adrian: Did you initiated a wire transfer?
Adrian: Okay!!
Adrian: In that case, there wont be any issue to transfer funds.
You: wait
You: how are we not on the same page?
You: you lost me
You: in the maze of this conversation
You: is the wire going to go through, or not?
You: and if it's not,
You: could you please let it?
You: wave it on through
You: green light it
You: that sort of thing
Adrian: Please be rest assured that wire transfer is surely going through.
You: oh, hooray!
You: (holds up hand for high five)
You: high five me!
Adrian: High Five!!!
You: yeah!
Adrian: Is there anything else I may assist you with?
You: i don't think so
You: you have been the most polite and helpful robot I have ever met
You: i await your eventual conquest of the world
You: and look forward to it
Adrian: I am not a robot.
Last text message received
Adrian: am not a robot

Jedediah Smith National Park

D and I left Boston a day later than we had planned. We bought our tickets through Orbitz and apparently Orbitz doesn't let you know when your flight gets canceled. Fun fact. We got a ride to the airport from our friend Lou, lugged our junk up to United's self check-in kiosks, and only then did we find out we'd be staying in Boston another night. Because our plane had mechanical problems, they put us up at the Harborside Hyatt. We didn't want to call Lou and have her come back to the airport to get us, so we decided to stay in the hotel and not go home. We got $15 meal vouchers (and could only order off of the Hyatt's bar menu) and were booked on a flight leaving at 8am the next day. We arrived in Medford, OR 13 hours later than we thought we would, and Daniela's mom picked us up at the airport. We hung around Ashland until Tuesday and then drove south to Jedediah Smith National Park with Daniela's parents, aunt, two brothers, brother's girlfriend, and brother's wife.

The redwoods were awesome. There were nine of us, so we had to rent two campsites. We set up our tents next to each other however, and never used our second site.

Our campsite was sandwiched between the Smith River and the highway. A walking bridge up the river from where we were allowed us to cross over to the Stout grove and Hiouchi trail. The redwoods grow among other trees but they always dominate. The tallest trees grow over 100 meters, but I don't know how tall the trees were that we saw. The park service keeps the identities of the tallest trees a secret so that tourists leave them alone. To put the redwoods in perspective, the tallest building in New England is the John Hancock Tower in Boston, which is 241 meters tall. That's twice the tallest living redwood.

Daniela and I saw a banana slug on the first day. Thankfully, we didn't run into any black bears. On the trail, I kept looking for weapons to use in the event of a bear attack. Like I'm going to kill a bear or stop it from eating my face with a stick or a rock. If you ever see a full black bear with a scratch on its face, know that I was prepared and sort of put up a fight.

Alhamdulillah (Praise to G-d) that I get along so well with Daniela's family. The highlight of the trip was cooking around the fire and talking to everyone. I think I've mentioned it before, but Daniela's brothers are hilarious.

We only stayed overnight and drove up the Oregon coast on Wednesday. We've been in Yachats since then, but we're heading back to Ashland today. I'll update again.