Renting a bike

I almost forgot. I thought I was pretty damned funny when I rented that scooter the other day. It was at a pretty big, legit-looking shop. I read in Starr's 'Southeast Asia on a Shoestring' book that in Vietnam when you rent bikes, sometimes they send one of their guys to follow you and steal the bike, so they can charge you full-price for a new one. I've been slightly nervous since I read that when I rent things so I go to legit-looking places only. I'll EAT in any hole in the wall I pass, but I only rent bikes and scooters from the best.

So I talked to this one woman about renting a bike and the price was right so I said:

'OK, I'll take it. By the way, I've never ridden one of these before, is it hard?'
'WHAT? You never ride before? No no no no no. No rent.'
'Oh... Well of COURSE I've rented them in America, just never in Thailand. In America I ride these things all the time.'
'Huh, what you say?'
'I said 'it ok,' I ride before so it ok.'
'Here you take bike up street and back.'
'Okey dokey.'

I hop on the bike and try not to look too inept. First off, I can't figure out how to start it. The key is in the ignition and its off. I try turning the key and I do this for a full minute before I have to ask her what to do. She tells me not to push in like when starting a car. I turn it. Nothing happens. She shows me two buttons to press at the same time and it starts to purr. 'OK, so THESE handles are the brakes, ha ha ha, but how do I give it gas?' She stares at me for a second and rolls her eyes. I grab the handle and rotate it forward but it doesn't give it any gas. 'Do I need to unlock it or something?' She makes a gesture meaning rotate it BACKWARDS. Ah. I rotate it towards me and I shoot off! I SLAM on the brakes and look like an idiot. She watched me get jerked around but I just laughed it off. I do a horrible start-stop-start-stop trip down the alley and back to her. She hasn't smiled in a long time. I open with:

'I think the scooter that I used to ride back home was a 110cc and this is a 125cc. Maybe that's the difference.'
'This 110cc.'
'Oh. Well, its been a while I guess. How much is insurance?'

Then she took my money because no matter how bad you are at anything or how dangerous it is for you, you can get it for the right price. Well, like anywhere I suppose. I figured it out but was a fairly cautious driver when I started. By the end of the day I was riding it full tilt everywhere I went and weaving in and out of other cars on the road. I raced a truck full of Thai people down the mountain and at red lights I would weave between cars to get to the front of the line. It's so easy and fun to ride one that I may get another one but this time for 3 or 4 days at a time. I met two kids who taught English in Taiwan at a Dunkin' Donuts this morning (by the way, they have Dunkin' Donuts here and I almost teared up when I saw it. The coffee sucks and the donuts are off but it satisfied a craving I've had since I read Murakami Haruki's 'Wind-Up Bird Chronicle' and he mentions that there is one in Tokyo) and they want to take a 600 km trip through the countryside, right up to the Myanmar border, to go exploring. They took my email address and said they'd get in touch with me if they decide to go. So, don't expect emails or blog postings for a little while if I leave.

It's hot here.