Thailand for Malaysia --- 03.31.2007

It's 5pm on the 31st of March and I'm booked on the 7pm bus to Kuala Lampur. I'll get there by a very convenient 4am and stay just as long as it takes me to see the Petronas Towers and get my Visa for India. I don't know where I'm going in Malaysia yet since everything I've ever learned about that country I've learned in the past 2 days.

Anyone who knows me knows I love maps, so here's one to help you all visualize where I am and where I'm going:



I crossed the border into Thailand on Yuka and Kevin's birthday, March 3, and since I'm leaving today, that makes it 29 days. SLIGHTLY better than the 5 days we spent in Cambodia.

I spent 4 days in Bangkok right after I arrived (Starr and Raquel only stayed overnight and that's when we all split up) and then I took an overnight bus north to Chiang Mai. I rented a scooter for 4 days and did a loop through the mountains trying to find hill tribes and opium. I was in Chiang Mai for a full week and managed to find a Dunkin' Donuts.

After that I took a bus south to Koh Tao (on the Gulf of Thailand side), stopping for another full day in Bangkok, unavoidably. I spent like 9 days in Koh Tao and then returned to Bangkok (obviously way out of my way) to get my Myanmar Visa. I failed and then refused to wait until the embassy reopened on Monday morning. I took off for the other side of the peninsula, Koh Phi Phi, for 5 days.

After Koh Phi Phi I caught a bus to Krabi and stayed overnight. Now I'm only an hour from the border and in the fourth largest city in Thailand, Hat Yai.

Interesting side note. Hat Yai was the location of a series of bombings this past September. Touristy locations were targetted and I talked to an Australian women today who was here for it. A 'farang' (Thai word for a European or European descendent) was killed but most of the tourists here are Malaysian. The people responsible were likely the Muslim separatists here, as the southernmost three provinces in Thailand are predominately Muslim and feel slighted by the rest of Buddhist Thailand. Why they would have tried to kill Muslim Malaysian tourists though is beyond me.

There ya go. I'll post again from Kuala Lampur. I was able today to track down an unused outlet, so I was able to charge my camera too. Hooray!

Singapore to New Delhi...

Through some last-minute deal website, I found a flight on Air India for $280.

That's the best I've got so far because I don't how legit that $133 price is for Bangkok to Delhi.

I wonder how Luke is getting from Delhi to Kathmandu...

Singapore to Bangkok on the 12th

$39.50 on Tiger Airways!!!

Bangkok to New Delhi on April 14th

$133. That's great, but how much is it to get from Singapore to Bangkok. That may be a little too far to bus it...

Singapore to New Delhi on April 13th

$403. I KNOW I can find cheaper flights than that.

Krabi town

While you're allowed to stay in Thailand for up to 3 months on a tourist visa, it has to be renewed every month. At least, this is what my Lonely Planet and government websites say. I met some guys in Koh Phi Phi who claim to have renewed their visas 5, 6, even 7 times now. Regardless of how long they've stayed for, every month they need to cross the border into Myanmar or Malaysia and get a new stamp.

I arrived in Thailand on March 3rd so I need to cross the border by the first of April. Unless fines have been raised, its 500 baht per day that I overstay my visa. That's only $15 or so, but I'm ready to go anyway.

I checked out of my guest house this morning on Koh Phi Phi and took the 2pm slow boat to the coast. I got to the center of Krabi town by 4:30pm. It started to rain on the way in the taxi (a red pick-up truck with a canopy over the back) so I got out and went into a convenience store for a beer. The rain didn't last long and it gave me time to check my guide and see where the cheap hotels were located. While walking I met a girl from Sevilla, Spain who took me to the place she was staying. It's only 100 baht a night (just under $3) and they have a good internet connection. I don't really have any direction right now and since I have 3 days to get to the border (which is 4 hours away by bus) I can take my time. Checking out of my hotel was sort of on a whim. The guy who screams in his sleep played a part, as did my sunburn, but it was a weird interaction with the owner that pushed me over the edge. The day before I gave one of his employees 1000 baht and told her to get the change to me whenever. Well, she understood what I asked her to do but it took 15 minutes of playful arguing with the owner to get my 500 baht change. That was annoying, but then again today I accidentally bumped into him and he wanted to know when I was leaving. He touched my knee a lot while we were sitting together (Thai guys are really really effeminate) and I said I was leaving either today or tomorrow. He told me to stay for another night because he wanted my money. He explicitly said that. 'Stay one more night because I don't have anyone in that bed and I want your money.' If his delivery had been a little bit better it could have been funny, but it wasn't. So I decided to check out right then and come here to Krabi. There is some rock-climbing in the area but I might just skip it and head south to Hat Yai. From there its a short bus ride to the border, where I can just get another quick stamp to get into Malaysia.


The plan was to travel through Myanmar but to get the visa I need to go back to Bangkok again and I'm not crazy about it. It's a 12+ hour bus ride and I've already been through that city 3 times now. It might have been possible to get the Myanmar visa in a single day at the embassy but it would be expensive and I would have to take another 12 hour bus to Ranong to get across the border. It all sounds exhausting and I'm not in love with Myanmar. What do I care? I haven't been to Malaysia either and THEY have banks.

I guess it's time to check out

I was just writing an email to Daniela and I remembered something from this morning that I thought everyone would find funny. A guy who screams in his sleep moved into the dorm I was staying in on Koh Phi Phi Don. I'm including a picture of the dorm room so you can try to imagine how terrifying it would be to be woken up by this guy, about 6 feet from your head.


Because of his accent, I'm pretty sure the guy was either English or Scottish (I'm leaning towards Scottish) and was sleeping across the aisle from me. I woke up out of a sound sleep right before 7am and I couldn't figure out where I was or what was going on, but I distinctly heard someone scream 'COME AND LOOK WHAT THEY'VE DONE!!!!!!!!' I don't like waking up regardless of the situation, but to have my heart beating so fast so early can't be good. Confused, I sat bolt upright in bed and waited for more. I figured it came from just below our window or something because no one in the room was moving. Fuck, did I just dream that? I got back to sleep and in just another moment I heard "THANKS, I CRAZY APPRECIATE IT MATE!!!!!!!"

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?!!??! The second time I got up fast enough to figure out what direction it came from and I identified the guy. Shaven head, much bigger than me, and he had a big gut. Oh, and he was SCREAMING in his motherfucking sleep. It creeped me out, more so because no one else in the room (there were maybe 14 of us in there) even flinched. I was sitting up, totally awake and wide-eyed, looking around in a sort of terror and no one else even woke up. This was the first night that guy had been there (I'm pretty sure I would have remembered the screaming if he had been there the night before) and no one even woke up. I don't even understand it.

Koh Phi Phi - 6:44pm

I've been on Koh Phi Phi since March 25th. I took a slow-ass bus here from Bangkok on the same day as I last posted. It arrived in Krabi harbor at noon on the following day and then I had to wait (i.e. have a lot to drink) until 3pm to catch my slow-ass ferry here. I didn't check into my place until around 5pm.

Just like on Koh Tao, there's a strip of dive shops all trying to get you to sign up with them as soon as you step on the island. I asked some guy about a cheap room and he pointed me towards a co-worker. I asked her where I could find a cheap room and she told me that anything less than 700 baht was IMPOSSIBLE. What about The Rock I said, it says in my Lonely Planet that they have rooms for 300 baht. Well, I could always go there if I wanted to she said, but she couldn't help me book a room there. Why the fuck would I need you to book me a room there, I can WALK over there in 2 minutes, right? She stopped talking to me.

I checked in to the dorm (I think there's 8 bunk-beds arranged in rows in a single room and half of them are currently taken) which was 250 baht a night, the next cheapest and available accomodation being a bungalow which was over 1000. So I checked in, met some of the locals, got offered some pot, and then found out what the hot-spots were.

On the first day, since I didn't have much daylight left, I hiked to the top of the mountain and took in the sunset (if this computer was faster I would upload and post my pictures, but alas, its not to be). That night I crashed early because for the past two nights I had slept, and not well, on a bus. I got up early yesterday and hiked out to a place on the island called 'Long Beach' (or 'Hin Yao' in Thai) and spent the day laying out, reading tragedies, swimming, and snorkeling. I got some dinner and while I was eating saw the guys I met the day before heading out to the bars. I tried to figure out where they went but had lost them completely.

Today I got up wicked early and watched the sunrise from the same place as the first day. After that I got some breakfast and checked my Lonely Planet for something to see. It said there was a sketchy trail across the island and it led to places where I assumed cool deserted beaches would be. An hour later, I had completely lost the trail and was losing my footing coming down the face of a mountain. Only several minutes earlier I had stumbled across a 5-foot lizard eating something inside of a dead tree trunk. I heard drums off in the distance (which is how I was finding my way through the jungle) and it became clear that I would never reach them. I got lost even more and then came out at a construction site. A new resort maybe. I found the beach from there and then wandered on a bit. I got a little drunk as soon as I found someone selling booze (Archa beer?), and eventually made my way back here to the main town with the help of the inhabitants of a tiny village only connected to the rest of the island by an overgrown foot-path.

This island was badly damaged by the 2004 Tsunami and there are now evacuation route signs everywhere. I followed some of the signs and found out what the 'evacuation' center was. There was a sign pointing straight up a hill and the message was clear, go up there where the water can't get you. Thanks for the help.

There's a sea gypsy village on the northern tip of this island as well. I found it today because it sounded sexy in my Lonely Planet. You know what a sea gypsy village is? Nothing. A few shacks hammered together with spit and dead bugs and the entire area was covered with trash.

Also, Koh Phi Phi is actually an archipelago. The two islands where I am, Koh Nok and Koh Noi (maybe) are joined be a sandbar and the town is on the sandbar. Not too far away is Koh Phi Phi Leh and that's where they shot a lot of DiCaprio's vehicle The Beach. Its uninhabited and you're not allowed to stay there overnight, but that's where I'm headed tomorrow to go cliff diving.

Miss you all.

Oh! So I can feasibly head to Malaysia or Myanmar from here. Anyone have suggestions? I have to fly to Nepal on the 13th or 14th to meet Luke and regardless of where I go I'll have to fly. The border between Myanmar and India is completely closed.

Yet more difficulties...

SIGH. Bye bye tropical paradise. Hello shitty Bangkok. I left Koh Tao on good terms even making friends with three massage girls on my way to the pier. I don't know who they thought I was but they all really like THAT guy. I arrived back here in Bangkok at 4:20am. I did the Bangkok walk of shame to Khao San Road and sat in McDonald's reading Romeo & Juliet until the sun finally came up.

So here are the choices I'm faced with. I need a Myanmar visa. I need one BAD. I have another 10 days or so before I have to go renew my Thai Visa. To do that, I need to cross into Myanmar anyway. It's Saturday (an oversight) which means I can't get to the Myanmar embassy here in Bangkok (the only one there is in Thailand), which stays open from Monday to Friday. It takes about a week to get the visa and it should only cost me $20. However, for me to get the visa, I need to (A.) stay in Bangkok through the weekend, and (B.) return here before I cross the border into Myanmar. I want to head south again where its pretty and warm and NOT Bangkok. I don't think I can get the visa from Ranong, which is one of the few border crossings into Myanmar and the only one down south. Ok. Sigh. I could get something called a Pre-approved Visa on arrival but I would need to get it at the Yangon airport and it takes 30 days to get it.

So I need to get that visa and that might mean staying here in Bangkok until Monday. And even after I stay and get the paperwork started, I'll have to return to pick it up. THEN I have to go back down south AGAIN to get over the border. Ugh. FUCK! ... ... FUCK! ... FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

NOW I'm leaving

It's after 10am on the 23rd and I'm just hanging out, waiting for my boat to show up. I checked out of my hotel AGAIN and then hiked the length of the island with my giant backpack (sweating all over the place) to the pier. Bought my ticket for 550 baht and then came to this internet cafe once again.

Immediately after I posted yesterday the sky got dark and it started to drizzle. I ducked into a restaurant nearby to read and wait for it to pass but it got a lot worse before it got better. Most places here require you to take your shoes off before you enter, so I left my sneakers near the entrance (in the sand), and they got destroyed by the storm. They were completely caked in sand. To add insult to injury, mine were the only pair that were left where they were. Everyone else knew enough to bring their shoes in with them. Hmmmm.

After the storm stopped (it took an hour or so) I hiked over to the other side of the island to swim and snorkel. The storm had washed a ton of debris and trash into the water and the bay where I was headed collected quite a bit of it. The visibility was ok and I had fun but the waves had picked up as well. Several times I was carried by a wave towards a rock or part of the reef I didn't really want to be dashed against.

I've always been kind of scared of the ocean to be honest. So I decided to overcome my fear and press out into open water yesterday, further than I would normally go. I dove down and got close to the reef and a frickin' huge fish came out of its hole/hiding place and scared the shit out of me. It had like, weird crap hanging off of its skin to help it blend in with the reef (thank you very much evolution) and that made it extra scary. I realize almost everything here is harmless but I wasn't prepared for it. It came out, peeked at me, and then disappeared back into the shadows and I fled with the wind. If there was wind underwater I mean.

That's not quite an interesting story, but it was all I did.

The night was spent like most nights here. Like I said earlier, 4 or 5 restaurants play movies nightly and after I get done swimming I walk through town and check out their signboards to find out what's playing. Last night this is what my options were:

At El Toro: Babel at 7pm and Borat! at 9:15
At (this other place): A History of Violence at 7:30
At Seashells: A Long Weekend and then The New World at 8:30
At Choppers!: At 7pm both Man Push Cart and 300 were playing, and at 9pm, Little Miss Sunshine and Zodiac
At El Toro II: At 7pm Music & Lyrics, and later, 300

So those were my options and if you're trying to picture what my life like here is like, every night consists of walking by these restaurants and bars to check out what's playing. I went to Choppers! to see 300 but went into the wrong room and watched Man Push Cart instead. It's about a Pakistani guy in New York who owns a push cart and has crap he's dealing with. It was ok.

I lied

I checked out of my hotel yesterday and then tried to find a cheap ticket back to Bangkok. I found one for 550 baht but the boat left at 2:30 in the afternoon. This didn't seem like enough time to me so I stayed on the island again last night. And I might stay again tonight too. The weather outside is beautiful and it seems like a shame to be on a slow boat and a bus all day long.

Booooooooooooring.

This is my seventh and last day in Koh Tao. I just checked out of my bungalow and left my bag with the staff there. I got some breakfast at my favorite spot and then came here to look into getting my Myanmar Visa. I'm going to take a boat and a bus back to Bangkok to get my Myanmar Visa rolling (I should have done it the last time I was there, but whatever) and then head back south to the other side of the peninsula. I want to see Kho Phi Phi (pronounced pee pee) and Krabi before I leave, which are pretty beaches where you can snorkel and dive, just like Koh Tao.

I got an email from Luke and he's bought his ticket. We'll meet up on the 15th in Kathmandu and hike in Nepal for 20 days or so. I'm jazzed.

03.19.2007 Under the Sea!

The following are fish that are too quick to be punched:

He insulted BOOKS!

I bought a copy of Gogol's short stories in Bangkok and just finished it yesterday. There are 4 or 5 used bookshops on Koh Tao so I shopped around to find out where I could sell it or trade it for another book. I got 70 baht as an offer ($2), half of the value of another book if I traded it in, and one asshole who calls himself 'Mr. J' offered me A CAN OF PEPSI.

Me: 'Hi. Do you buy books here?'
Some asshole who calls himself Mr. J: 'Yes. What you bring?'
Me: 'This.' I hand him my book which I had bought new 4 days ago.
Some asshole who calls himself Mr. J: 'Ahhh! I give you... ... ... can of pepsi.'
Me: '... what? Soda? Are you offering me a soda? Are you kidding?' I take my book and walk away, insulted on behalf of books.
Some asshole who calls himself Mr. J: 'Hmmm.. I GIVE YOU CHOCOLATE TOO!'

I was completely offended. We are talking about BOOKS here my friend. I wouldn't offer you socks for your dog.

Plus I'm a cookie person.

Happy St. Patrick's Day - 03.18.2007

It's still St. Patty's Day in the States, so its still appropriate to wish you all a happy one.

I'm in Koh Tao in southern Thailand and I'm doing great if slightly burnt. First it was my forearms and wrists for some damned reason, then it was my face and neck, and after a day of kayaking around the island its my shins, thighs and the tops of my feet. Oh well. Bronzed Benn is just a thing of fantasy.

I got this free tourist map of Koh Tao back in Bangkok and I've been using it to explore the island. Two nights ago I found a spot marked on the map as "Sairee View" which sounded promising. All the bars, restaurants, and hotels are written in simple black font and the scenic spots and place names are written in bold-faced yellow. "Sairee View" was written in bold-faced yellow so I was picturing a look-out point kind of thing. I followed some street signs to "Sairee View" but got lost and confused. I walked up the side of one of the mountains here and three guys on the third floor of someone's house yelled down to me. I asked them if I could come up and ask them a question about Sairee View. Two Thai guys (one of whom owned the property), Talung and Cha, and a Japanese guy named Aki were drinking bottles of Asahi together. I pulled out my map and asked them where this spot was. They told me my map was bad and I was AT Sairee View, which is not a location but a guest house. Aki owns a bar right at that spot but its closed now as he's repairing some things. They invited me to sit down and the view from their balcony was incredible (like I said, they were in a 3-story building on the side of a mountain). I neglected to bring my camera but returned last night and got a few shots of the sunset. They were really nice and Aki sold me a beer when I asked him for something to drink. We watched the sun go down and the squid boats come out from the mainland. I talked with Aki, who's 45 and has been in Thailand for the past 4 years. He lived in Osaka and goes back and forth about 3 times a year but its pretty sporadic. He got divorced 4 years ago and decided to 'change his way of thinking.' He was then invited by one of the Thai guys to come live on the island with him. Aki said that leaving Japan was something he wanted to do and scouted other islands: Guam, Hawaii, and other islands in Thailand. He chose Koh Tao because it had a 'really strong power.' His Thai friend let him build a bar on his property and he's been there, more or less, since then. He's so tan now that he doesn't even look Japanese anymore. After the sunset I asked if it would be alright if I came back the next day (yesterday) for another beer and they enthusiastically said 'yes.' So I went back again yesterday just before sundown while Aki was working on his bar. He had jazz on in the background and was reading a book by an Indian Buddhist that he tried to explain to me. It was a lot of the same stuff that my dad has been interested in lately: meditation, Buddhist philosophy, and learning how to develop your own awareness. We chatted for a while and I asked, again, if it would be alright if I came back. He shook my hand and said I'd always be welcome. So tonight, after I finish snorkeling and whatever, I'll go back to watch the sunset again.

That's what I've been up to. Kayaking, swimming, blah blah blah. You can imagine what one does on a beach.

Also, I got bullied by a fucking dog. This isn't the first time on this trip that a dog (or pack of dogs) has scared me away from something. In northern Thailand I tried to visit a wat at dawn and two wild dogs chased me back onto my scooter and off the property while two monks just watched everything, and when I tried to visit an Akha village the local dogs AGAIN chased me away while the tribespeople just sat around and watched. The other day I was sitting in the sand and reading when a friendly dog came up and watched the ocean right by my side. I was about to start petting it when a much larger dog stood directly behind me and started this really guttural growling. I stood up and it was clear his beef was with the other dog. The smaller dog tried to ignore him but the bigger one got a lot more aggressive and eventually chased him away. I was still standing because this massive dog (wild, as all fucking dogs in Asia are wild) was still on edge, but then it plopped down in MY motherfucking seat. I stood there like an idiot while two German guys not too far away starting laughing. I said 'I guess I lost my seat' but they didn't understand. I sat down a few feet away, right next to a big sandcastle that someone had launched fireworks out of, but the dog wasn't happy just leaving me alone. It got up, walked right next to me, and then pissed all over the castle. I was close enough to the dog that the fact that it was pissing made me uncomfortable. Again, the German guys thought this was pretty funny so I got up again and went back to my old spot. I was able to laugh back at them though because the dog then walked towards them and one guy got so scared he jumped up and moved to let the dog pass through where he had just been sitting.

You have to just picture how fucking enormous and in-control this dog was. He owned that beach as far as me and two German guys were concerned.

I guess that's it.

Miss you all.

My advice: GROW A BEARD

I think my shaver got fried when I plugged it into a 220-volt outlet back in southern China. I like my beard and have received compliments on it (from you guys not anyone here), but its getting too long to be cool. It's just getting big and scruffy now and I can't help but get food in it. When I drink things now they get on my moustache and without even trying I can grab a big hunk of hair from either side of my mouth with my teeth and pull on it. Ummm... still waiting for my bus to show up so I can go south...

Ugh. Back in Bangkok. 03.14.2007.

I took an overnight bus to Bangkok from Chiang Mai yesterday and arrived at 5:30 this morning. Waking up after you had a really shitty night of sleep on a bus and then carrying your bags down dark alleys in Bangkok isn't fun. I felt sleepy, my vision was all blurry and I was a little sweaty from sleeping on the bus. I just wanted to lay down somewhere and finish sleeping. On top of that, every 20 feet there's a taxi-driver who bothers you with: 'Hello! Where you going?' Tonight I'll catch another bus south and then a boat for Koh Tao. This is Koh Tao:


My four day trip around the north was great. I mean, I spent 6 days in the Chiang Mai area, but I rented a scooter for the last 4-days and just roamed around on my own. I rented a slightly more powerful scooter the second time around and didn't bother to insure it. That came out to 150 baht per day for the scooter and that was discounted because I was renting it for a longer period of time. I was supposed to meet up with these two Americans I met in a Dunkin' Donuts, Jody and Mike, but we missed each other and I didn't really wait around for them.

I headed north on the 107 and got lunch in Mae Taeng. Most of the places that I ate at in the past 4 days looked exactly the same: a no-frills kitchen on wheels. The street vendors here must all get their gear from the same supplier (no matter how home-made it looks). Picture a counter-top, with one or two big metal pots set into it (the traditional street vendor fare is noodle soup so one of those pots will have soup bubbling). There's always a two-tiered glass case on top of that that holds all the ingredients they use, and you can check if everything looks fresh. If they serve rice dishes, you can expect a rice cooker and a wok to fry up whatever they put on top. I found that most places charge about 20 baht for whatever they're cooking and any more than that is gouging. The food is always delicious and sometimes gives you just a touch of diarrhea.

After Mae Taeng I stopped at a cave in Chiang Dao. Its really a series of caves that extends back into this mountain for kilometers and kilometers. There are fluorescent lights that brighten the path but after maybe 500 meters those end and if you want to continue you need to bring or rent an electric lamp and explore on your own. It was tempting but looked terrifying. Plus, if you fall and get hurt you'd better hope someone can hear you screaming, otherwise you're fucked.

I made it all the way to the town of Fang and spent the night at DJ's Guest House. The place was crawling with geckos (most places are) and I got some shots of them along the outside wall. I wanted to write some emails and update my blog but there were two internet cafes in Fang and they were both online gaming centers only. The Thai kids that were packed into them thought it was quite funny to see me come in by the way. Hillarious.

The next day I started out early (big mistake) for Tha Ton. From there a river runs to Chiang Rai and you can either hike along it or take a boat. Early morning that high in the mountains is FREEZING cold so I stopped and got coffee, waiting for the sun to climb a little higher in the sky. The boat option was out because it left once a day at 12:30pm and that was more than 4 hours away. So I decided to take my scooter along the river and stop at tribal villages along the way. Tribal villages are kind of the draw to that part of Thailand and there are quite a few of them. Some are right along the highway and *very* touristy. These women in traditional dress just sell cheap trinkets and bracelets and crap that have nothing to do with their culture and aren't even made in their villages (they will tell you differently---liars). I bought a bracelet from an Akha woman and later at the Hill Tribes Museum in Chiang Rai a woman told me that all the tribes in the area sell bracelets like this one and it doesn't have any cultural meaning. Lame. The other tribes in the area aren't visited very frequently and are high in the hills where its difficult to get to. These are the tribes I wanted to visit (Shit, I have 4 minutes left at this cafe). So I took my scooter off-road and went searching for tribal people. I found a few villages but was completely at a loss with how to interact with them. They couldn't speak English and I couldn't think of a reason to be in their communities. I wound up riding and trekking for hours, reaching a village, looking around in the main part of town (there wasn't anything) and then just moving on. Most of these tribes smoke copious amounts of opium so part of me wanted to find a cool tribe, fit in, and then be invited to smoke with them. That never happened. I just got a hold of the Americans I was supposed to travel with and they didn't have any luck either.

Oh, I'm out of time. More later

Miss you all

Renting a bike

I almost forgot. I thought I was pretty damned funny when I rented that scooter the other day. It was at a pretty big, legit-looking shop. I read in Starr's 'Southeast Asia on a Shoestring' book that in Vietnam when you rent bikes, sometimes they send one of their guys to follow you and steal the bike, so they can charge you full-price for a new one. I've been slightly nervous since I read that when I rent things so I go to legit-looking places only. I'll EAT in any hole in the wall I pass, but I only rent bikes and scooters from the best.

So I talked to this one woman about renting a bike and the price was right so I said:

'OK, I'll take it. By the way, I've never ridden one of these before, is it hard?'
'WHAT? You never ride before? No no no no no. No rent.'
'Oh... Well of COURSE I've rented them in America, just never in Thailand. In America I ride these things all the time.'
'Huh, what you say?'
'I said 'it ok,' I ride before so it ok.'
'Here you take bike up street and back.'
'Okey dokey.'

I hop on the bike and try not to look too inept. First off, I can't figure out how to start it. The key is in the ignition and its off. I try turning the key and I do this for a full minute before I have to ask her what to do. She tells me not to push in like when starting a car. I turn it. Nothing happens. She shows me two buttons to press at the same time and it starts to purr. 'OK, so THESE handles are the brakes, ha ha ha, but how do I give it gas?' She stares at me for a second and rolls her eyes. I grab the handle and rotate it forward but it doesn't give it any gas. 'Do I need to unlock it or something?' She makes a gesture meaning rotate it BACKWARDS. Ah. I rotate it towards me and I shoot off! I SLAM on the brakes and look like an idiot. She watched me get jerked around but I just laughed it off. I do a horrible start-stop-start-stop trip down the alley and back to her. She hasn't smiled in a long time. I open with:

'I think the scooter that I used to ride back home was a 110cc and this is a 125cc. Maybe that's the difference.'
'This 110cc.'
'Oh. Well, its been a while I guess. How much is insurance?'

Then she took my money because no matter how bad you are at anything or how dangerous it is for you, you can get it for the right price. Well, like anywhere I suppose. I figured it out but was a fairly cautious driver when I started. By the end of the day I was riding it full tilt everywhere I went and weaving in and out of other cars on the road. I raced a truck full of Thai people down the mountain and at red lights I would weave between cars to get to the front of the line. It's so easy and fun to ride one that I may get another one but this time for 3 or 4 days at a time. I met two kids who taught English in Taiwan at a Dunkin' Donuts this morning (by the way, they have Dunkin' Donuts here and I almost teared up when I saw it. The coffee sucks and the donuts are off but it satisfied a craving I've had since I read Murakami Haruki's 'Wind-Up Bird Chronicle' and he mentions that there is one in Tokyo) and they want to take a 600 km trip through the countryside, right up to the Myanmar border, to go exploring. They took my email address and said they'd get in touch with me if they decide to go. So, don't expect emails or blog postings for a little while if I leave.

It's hot here.

Sunburnt. AGAIN.

I'm still in Chiang Mai but here's some Google Earth coordiates to help you fire at me from space. I'm staying at Mr. Whisky's Guest House (18°47'0.63"N 98°59'23.53"E) inside of the walled city, and today I rented a 110cc scooter and rode it out to Doi Suthep & Doi Pui National Parks. I got a little burnt on my shoulders but that's par for the course I suppose. I'm using SPF 60 sunblock but I think constantly readjusting my backpack rubbed it off in certain places. That sucks. Not as bad as having a cage with two starving rats in it placed on your head, but pretty close. And I simply can't leave my backpack at home. Who knows when I'll need my copy of The Brothers Karamazov and two giant bags of tea? Essentials.

I rode up to the top of Doi Suthep (1676m) and visited a temple built there, the Wat Phra That Doi Suthep (18°48'18.50"N 98°55'17.72"E). According to the plaques and brochure that was handed to me, the location for the temple was chosen by an elephant. Or rather, the elephant was given something to carry, got as far as the top of the mountain, died, and this was viewed as a good sign. My Lonely Planet says that its 16km from Chiang Mai to Doi Suthep peak. 4km past the temple is some sort of palace but it was closed when I got there. After the palace it says its 'a couple of kilometers' to the point where I finally turned around and headed back. There were two paths and neither of them looked like they would accomodate my bike. One led down to a Hmong village (I had already seen Hmong people in Sa Pa, Viet Nam so I wasn't really interested) and the other was an overgrown hiking trail to the top of Doi Pui mountain. The sun was already going down so I decided to call it a day and head back. I also followed a lot of trails off the main road, hiking and biking where I could. I visited a few waterfalls and for the most part had a fantastic day. The scooter was 200 baht but I paid 50 baht to insure it as well. 60 baht for gas, so I spent say... 8 and a half bucks for the whole thing. Not too bad.

I even managed to ride an elephant up part of the mountain before it grew wings and took me to the moon. In the shadow of one of the craters we had some wine and things got out of hand. I demanded to be taken home. It asked me not to call its parents and I agreed on the condition that it give me all of its Magic Cards that use red mana. I'm going to the interstellar Magic: the Gathering championships and I need to strengthen my red deck. I spilled nacho cheese dip on my pants but dropped them off at the cleaners in MOROCCO on the way back.

I hope everyone back home is enjoying themselves as much as I am. I love and miss you all.

Didn't have enough time with that last one...

Yeah, thanks for the update Wu. I think we all put that one together.

That last post was called "I walk alone" but I ran out of time before I could explain why. It's been 3 or 4 days now since Starr, Raquel, and I split up and went our own ways. They were simply rushing too fast through all the places I wanted to go and I had to pull the brakes. So now I'm on my own. They took a bus south to hit the islands on the first full day we had in Bangkok. I stayed for three nights at the 7 Holder Guest House and then last night I took a bus here, to Chiang Mai, to go hiking, cycling, and do some other outdoorsy stuff. It's early here, around 10 I think, so after I finish uploading some photos I'm gonna go rent a bike and head to a national park nearby.

I thought I would save myself some cash so I took a public bus to the North Bus Station in Bangkok. All buses not chartered by the travel agencies in and around Khao San Road leave from there, and since that's the main tourist area of Bangkok I was sure to save some cash. An hour ride on a bus for 20 baht (50 cents or so) to the station got me a 403 baht ticket leaving the same day at 10pm. I was so proud of myself. When I got back to Khao San Road, briefly triumphant, I bought a Lonely Planet: Thailand for $8 and then asked about prices to Chiang Mai. 350... 300... uh-oh. The only positive side to it was that my bus was less than half-full so I was able to spread out and sleep lying down. I have no doubt that all the private bus companies sell out every ride. At least, they have every single time I've taken one of their buses so far.

So, I didn't save any money but the ride was probaby more enjoyable than it would have been otherwise. Which was the opposite of my intention, but it helps me sleep so let's go with that.

Oh yeah, LOOK AT HOW MOTHER FUCKING SKINNY I GOT! You see me in that grasshopper picture??? Fuck!

I walk alone

Check grasshopper off the list.

That makes a duck's head and brain, a beating cobra heart, a 1.5 inch grub larva, baked grasshopper and a few other things.

Miss you all.

Rant while I wait

I'm trying to upload some photos in our hotel's lobby but it's taking really long for some reason. We have a really great connection here but I think I fucked this terminal up by trying to do too much at once. It's 40 baht an hour and as that's about a buck, you can see why I'm rushing. HELLO!?

So to bring everyone up to speed. I was in Hoi An, a beach in central Viet Nam like two days ago or something. I stayed there for two nights and then caught a bus to Nha Trang. In Nha Trang I saw a few things but mostly stayed on the beach. I got a really weird looking burn on my back because I sat down on my beach chair and most of my sunblock came off on the towel.

I got to Sai Gon on the 27th and met Starr and Raquel at their hotel. I was originally going to stay there for a few days but I got lonely and wanted to tag along with them. We paid $12 to board a bus bound for Phnom Penh. I only had an hour to kill in Sai Gon after I got off my bus, so I grabbed some breakfast. Now, in Viet Nam and Cambodia you can find 8-year-olds selling bootleg copies of Lonely Planet guides, so I bought the Cambodian one for $3 while I had breakfast. The woman selling it to me looked like she was in rough shape and instead of trying to barter with me just begged me to give her more money. It was a pretty depressing thing to go with breakfast.

The three of us boarded the same bus and got to Phnom Penh by mid-afternoon. Starr and I, once again, were getting on each other's nerves trying to find a hotel and I felt bad that Raquel had to witness it on our first destination as a group. Starr led us to a luxury hostel, and we had the penthouse. More than I wanted to spend, given my budget, but in retrospect it was a pretty great place. If only I had stolen their Lonely Planet: Thailand. Regrets.

We walked around that day and wound up by the river for drinks at night. The next day we started out early and did all the sightseeing a person would want to do in Phnom Penh. Raquel wasn't feeling so hot and wound up going back to the hotel twice to take a break.

In Phnom Penh the tuk-tuk was our preferred means of travel. It's a motorcycle pulling a trailer and the trailer has a canopy with two benches. To get from our hotel to almost anywhere in the city was $2, so divide that by three. That night Starr reserved bus tickets to Siem Reap and I feel like I wasn't informed that that decision was made. In Phnom Penh and in Siem Reap I was told and not asked we were leaving.

It was only 6 hours or so to Siem Reap and we went there to see the temples of Angkor Wat. We got day passes ($20) and biked 10 km. out to the main temple to see the sunrise. Raquel and Starr left at noon to go back to the hotel and I stayed until just before sunset. That day Starr had her camera stolen out of our hotel room. While I was biking around, Raquel and Starr got home, dropped off their stuff (including Starr's camera), and then took a 20 minute dip in the pool. When they got back to our room, the camera was gone and the key could no longer be accounted for (whenever we left our room we left the key at the front desk). Starr screamed, cried, and tried to threaten the guy at the desk in order to get it back. I later found out that she told him 'If I close my eyes and my camera shows back up, I'll just walk away and I won't care at all.' She said he looked like he thought about it for a minute and then told her he had no idea what happened to it. When I finally got back home they told me to pack my shit up and we were leaving, sans paying the bill. Now this, naturally, struck me as a bad decision in a foreign country. I did not however voice this concern and instead just packed up my shit, seeing how upset Starr was. When we got to the lobby the clerk guy tried to stop us and Starr just, very petulantly, told him we were leaving and if he wanted his money he could take it out of the profit from selling her camera. He called the police and we just walked down the alley and around the corner to our next hotel, which the two of them booked earlier that day. We practically ran down the hall and hid in our next hotel room. Raquel and I were nervous and Starr explained to us how we were immune beacuse we were Americans and some other stuff that all made an enormous amount of sense. Raquel and I remained nervous.

The police showed up about 20 minutes later and I was in the room while Starr and Raquel talked to them. Starr paid them the $20 we owed them (with the bike rentals however we owed them a bit more) and they just went away. The next day we were on a bus for Bangkok and here we are.

I just walked up and down the strip and had a beer on the curb with two British girls. Starr and Raquel met these two Canadian guys earlier today on the bus, and I saw them all walking around together. That the three of us split up and explore on our own has become more regular. I'm debating whether to stay behind in Bangkok and let them go south together, or go with them to the islands. I'm leaning towards breaking our unit up and doing the next month on my own.

Siem Reap to Bangkok, 03.03.2007

I've just arrived in Bangkok and I think someone spit on me. We checked these three guesthouses in a row and the third one had a pretty extensive fire escape in the alley. The approach to the front desk is through this alley and when we were leaving I felt one solid glob of something wet hit my bandana. It didn't get skin but I was definitely spit upon. I am not happy about this.

We're in the backpacker's area of Bangkok right now and we've only just checked into our hotel. For the three of us to stay here, which is a great location, its gonna be 400 baht. That's for a single and a double. The baht has become stronger than when our Lonely Planets were published but you can still imagine its about 40 baht to the dollar. So that's 10 dollars for three of us. I haven't seen Starr and Raquel's room yet, but mine is only big enough for the full-sized bed and walking room on two sides of it.

The food outside looks incredible. Eating in the food stalls and out of street vendor's carts is encouraged (so says Lonely Planet) but I gave up worrying about that a long time ago. The main street outside (I already forgot the name) looks cool. Lots of restaurants, bars, and shops selling clothes, trinkets, and the like. Everyone in the area is very young and very foreign.

The bus ride was 12 hours long but it seemed short. I can't believe I entered Cambodia on the 27th and left by the 3rd. That was probably some sort of record.

its Skobac's birthday - everyone call him!

Happy Birthday in Asia, Skobac! I'm going to be on a bus all day long so I won't be able to call you at midnight, but I will make a phone call at some point on the 3rd, your time. Love you man.