Reflections

Here's one thing I miss about living in Las Vegas: the NYSE opened at 6:30AM local time. I would wake up early, make a cup of tea or coffee, and the market would have just opened. It was like Christmas, every weekday.

Oh, and it never rained. That was awesome.

Kaku Michio & Our Godlike Grandchildren

Brian Bolduc, writing for the WSJ, reviewed Kaku Michio's latest book, "Physics of the Future." Kaku is a technologist, in that he thinks technology will fix all of our problems, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Kaku claims:

If you could meet your grandkids as elderly citizens in the year 2100, you would view them as being, basically, Greek gods.

This is because they'll be so technologically advanced, that they'll spend all of their time in tanning salons, reading Aristotle & Plato. I'd like to imagine how awesome a first meeting would be, if I could transport myself into the future and meet my elderly grandchild.

...keerrrrrr... ... BLAAAAAMMMM!
(A brilliant blue light fills the nursing home bedroom of my great grandson. A tear in the space-time continuum opens and I step out, wearing my Birkenstocks)

Zeus Egan: (Gasp!) Who's there!?

Me: It is I! Your grandfather! I have traveled here from 2012 to find out about all of the amazing things that exist in the year 2100!

Zeus Egan: That's weird. I have memories of you in your 70s and 80s and you didn't have a time machine.

Me: First of all, just ignore that for now. Second, that's awesome that I make it into my 80s. But, tell me about the future! Is there peace in the Middle East? When was disease eradicated? Is America a more equitable place to live? Do we still torture cows and chickens?

Zeus Egan: (Leaning forward in his floating wheelchair) What!?

Me: I said DO WE STILL KEEP CHICKENS IN TINY CAGES WHERE THEY CAN'T MOVE AROUND!?

Zeus Egan: Oh yeah, we still do that. In fact, wait till you see what we've done to animals. We found out a way to grow them in nugget form. They don't form internal organs or heads anymore. You just take them out of the cage and toss them, whole, into a deep fryer. And they fully develop inside of a week.

Me: That's seriously fucked up. I remember seeing a documentary when I was in my 20s of a cow that had a plastic device surgically grafted onto its stomach. A farmer could open this plug thing, and see directly into the cow's stomach. That way, the farmer could stuff corn in there and not have to wait for the cow for chew it.

Zeus Egan: I don't even know that I could identify a cow if you showed me one. Do they bark like dogs?

Me: Let's change the subject. What about disease? Has technology cured us of all illness? There was an author in my time that thought we would be diagnosed 10 years before showing symptoms.

Zeus Egan: Oh! Of course. There is nothing that isn't curable now (cough, cough, COUGH!)

Me: Ugh. You sound sick as shit. Why haven't you been cured yet?

Zeus Egan: Do you have any idea how expensive medical care is!? I should have had this thing on my leg looked at years ago, but who can afford treatment?

Me: Oh my God! That's disgusting! What the fuck is that!?

Zeus Egan: I don't know. Weren't you listening? I haven't had it looked at. I broke my ankle as a kid, so I could only ever get insurance through work. My deductible would be like $100,000.

Me: What about Medicare & Medicaid?

Zeus Egan: Those are long gone. Republicans killed both programs to balance the budget.

Me: So we have a balanced budget now?

Zeus Egan: Nope. Never even came close. They used all the money to fund other stuff.

Me: Well, what do you have that we didn't have in 2012?

Zeus Egan: Oh, well you should see our computers. They're awesome. They're really fast and you can update your Facebook status with your mind. You just think something, and it goes directly to your page. There's no turning it off. And I get bombarded all day long with updates from everyone I've ever met. This guy who sold me car insurance just told everyone on Facebook that he's watching reruns of Whitney. I gave it a thumbs up.

Me: Ugh. That sounds terrible.

Zeus Egan: Well what made 2012 so awesome? All the dinosaurs? That sounds too scary for me.

Me: Dinosaurs? You're off by about 165 million years. Was that a joke?

Zeus Egan: No, it wasn't a joke. The schools are terrible. If someone took away my bio-nano-bots, I wouldn't know how to tie my own shoes.

Me: OK. I've seen enough. Kaku Michio has no idea what he's talking about.

Zeus Egan: Unless you're in the .1%.