Greenfield Buzkashi Team

Today I came across the BBC's Day in Pictures page. While most of the pictures made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, I found something truly spectacular in picture 4. Apparently this is the season for Buzkashi in the steppes of central Asia and Afghanistan. What is Buzkashi you ask? Only the most rad game that side of the Urals.

From what I've gathered, two teams of mounted players try to throw a mangled goat carcass into a circle drawn in the sand (the "Circle of Justice"). Wikipedia says: "Competition is typically fierce, as other players may use any force short of tripping the horse in order to thwart scoring attempts... Games can last for several days, and the winning team receives a prize, not necessarily money, as a reward for their win." GAMES CAN LAST FOR SEVERAL DAYS! Without sleep, naturally. Real men don't take breaks from sport. So if you can picture it: two teams of mounted men, armed with riding crops and whatever else they have, beating each other unmercifully while trying to throw a headless goat carcass into the end zone. Afghanistan: where men are still allowed to be men.

If you're trying to picture what kind of a prize would be worthy of that sport, I have your answer. In Afghanistan this prize is usually a bathtub full of virgin blood in which the winners are allowed to bathe (in ancient times, it was usually the losing team's virginal daughters that filled the tub). In Uzbekistan, the prize is to be torn limb from limb by wild horses (a great honor). In Kyrgyzstan, they find out who has the largest scrotum on the losing team, and then the leading scorer of the winning team gets to tear his opponent's testicles clean off with his teeth. In the purer form of the game no anesthesia is used, but today some opt for it because the pain is unimaginable.

So, I would like to announce the creation of the Greenfield Buzkashi Team. It's going to be an intramural team and we'll hold tryouts at some point in December. You are to show up in Beacon Field with your own horse (as horses for this sport can run between $5,000 and $10,000 I simply cannot provide for everyone who wants to play) and riding crop. Pads are frowned upon. I'm going to get some jerseys made up, which I think will feature a flaming goat skull bleeding from its eyes. And, I don't think a goat skull is a terrible mascot for Greenfield either. Our high school is the Green Wave despite the fact that we're 100 miles from the ocean. At least we have goats. I think. It can't be too hard to get one to bleed from its eyes while on fire.

Technorati tags: Buzkashi, Afghanistan, Mounted Sports, Badass